I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize