So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize