Nicole vs. Life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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