I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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