omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i love accidental penises.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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