Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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