Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize