Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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