its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
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The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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