My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize