i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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