Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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