I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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