I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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