Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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