Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize