I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize