That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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