i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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