I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize