All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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