You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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