IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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