i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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