everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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