well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize