thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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