it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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