Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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