Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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