Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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