So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
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Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize