he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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