Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize