I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How does one acquire holy water?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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