I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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