I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize