Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize