i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize