Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
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At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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