I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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