booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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