k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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