I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Are we still banned from the library?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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