M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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