I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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