Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There are leaves in my underwear?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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