dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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