Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Pooping to opera.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize