your parents love me but you hate me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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