you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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