yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
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dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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