I'm going to jail i love you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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