Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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